Low Self-Esteem

Why Do I Always Feel Like I’m Not Good Enough?

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I always feel like I’m not good enough?”, you’re not alone. This is one of the most common symptoms of Low-Self-Esteem, and it often feels that no matter how hard you try, you’ll never measure up. You might constantly second-guess yourself, minimise your accomplishments, or compare yourself unfavourably to others. These thoughts don’t appear overnight - they’re usually the result of repeated experiences, internalised messages and unchecked self-talk. Feeling inferior to others is a self perpetuating cycle.

Feeling like you’re not good enough can stem from unrealistic expectations, negative comparisons, or past emotional wounds. But it’s important to remember that your worth is not defined by perfection, productivity, or popularity. You are already enough, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

What Are the Signs of Low Self-Esteem and Do I Have It?

Low self-esteem can be subtle. You might not even realize you're struggling with it. Here are some common signs of low self-esteem you might identify with:

• You constantly criticise yourself and expect others will too, even for small mistakes.

• You find it hard to make decisions because you don’t trust your judgment.

• You often feel like you’re a burden to others.

• You prevent yourself from learning and avoid challenges for fear of failing.

• You struggle to say no or set boundaries.

• You seek external validation to feel okay about yourself.

• You downplay compliments or reject them altogether.
  

If these traits sound familiar, you’re likely dealing with low self-esteem. Recognising it is the first step to changing it. The good news is, self-esteem is not fixed, it can be nurtured and improved with time and conscious effort.

How Did My Childhood Affect My Self-Worth?

Your early years play a large role in shaping your self-esteem. As a child, you absorbed messages from parents, teachers, peers, and even media. If you were frequently criticised, ignored, compared to others, or only praised when you achieved something, you may have started believing that your worth is conditional.

On the other hand, if your emotional needs weren’t met, or if you experienced trauma or neglect, it can lead to core beliefs like “I’m not lovable,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I don’t matter.” These beliefs often remain with you into adulthood and influence how you see yourself and how you let others treat you.

Healing your self-worth means becoming aware of these old messages and consciously choosing to rewrite them. Your childhood may explain how your self-esteem was shaped, but there is no need for it to dictate your future.

How Can I Stop Comparing Myself to Others on Social Media?

Social media can be a major trigger for low self-esteem. Scrolling through highlight reels of other people’s lives can make you feel inadequate or that you're not achieving what you ought to be.  But the truth is that you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s carefully curated front stage.

To stop comparing yourself to others on social media, try these steps:

• Limit your screen time and take regular breaks.

• Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel lesser than others.

• Follow people who promote authenticity, body positivity and self-acceptance

• Remind yourself that photos and posts don’t reflect the full story.
  

You’re not meant to live someone else’s life. Your path is unique, and your worth isn’t determined by likes, followers, or filtered perfection.

Why Can’t I Accept Compliments or Positive Feedback?

If compliments make you uncomfortable or you find yourself brushing off praise, this is a strong sign of low self-esteem. When you don’t believe you’re worthy, positive feedback feels confusing or even threatening. You might think, “They’re just being nice,” or “If they really knew me, they wouldn’t say that.”

Learning to accept compliments starts with understanding that other people see things in you that you might not yet see in yourself. When someone offers a kind word, try saying a simple “thank you” instead of deflecting. Over time, accepting compliments helps reinforce a more positive self-image and teaches your brain to see the good in you, too.

What Steps Can I Take Today to Feel Better About Myself?

You don’t need to overhaul your life to start building better self-esteem. Small, consistent steps can create meaningful change. Here are things you can do today:

• Practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you’d speak to a close friend.

• Create gratitudes, particularly those that demonstrate your strengths and achievements. Review them regularly.

• Challenge negative thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this really true, or just a habit?”

• Set healthy boundaries. Saying no is an act of self-respect.

• Celebrate small wins. Every step forward counts.

• Engage in activities that bring you joy or make you feel competent.
  

Improving your self-esteem doesn’t mean you’ll never feel doubt again - it means you can recognise your worth even when those doubts appear.

How Does Therapy Help Low Self-Esteem?

Therapy can be a powerful tool for improving low self-esteem. A trained therapist helps you uncover the root causes of your self-doubt and teaches you how to challenge negative thinking patterns and to understand why you think the way you do. Cognitive behavioural therapy can help you reframe harmful beliefs and develop healthier thought patterns. Deeper work enables you to know and accept yourself and through compounding this learning about yourself and how you react emotionally, enables you to transform the way you view yourself. Sometimes, just having a safe space to talk openly and be heard without judgment is healing in itself. If you’re struggling alone, therapy offers a supportive path toward real, lasting change.

How to Heal From Low Self-Esteem

Healing from low self-esteem is a journey, not a quick fix. It starts with recognising that your worth is something you already possess. No child is born inadequate.

Here’s how you can begin your healing process:

• Reflect on your inner dialogue. Start noticing how often you put yourself down and practice replacing those thoughts.

• Forgive your past self. Whether you made mistakes or let others treat you poorly, those moments don’t define you.

• Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and value you for who you are.

• Reparent yourself. Give yourself the love, care, and affirmation you may not have received as a child.

• Celebrate progress, not perfection. Healing doesn’t mean you never struggle. It means you keep showing up for yourself, no matter what.
  

Remember, low self-esteem is not a life sentence. You can allow yourself to be proud of your achievements and to enjoy the person you are. You may have spent years believing you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough - but ask yourself “whose narrative is this anyway?” The discovery that you have learnt to think this way can free you to create your own way of thinking. By understanding the roots of low self-esteem and taking intentional steps to rebuild your self-worth, you can see yourself through a lens of compassion, acceptance, and truth.