Gratitude

Gratitude -  create lasting change and make your life better.

Giving gratitude is a conscious exercise that we carry out, the purpose of which is to acknowledge things about ourselves or who and what we have in our life that we enjoy, appreciate, draw comfort from and find relief in. Gratitude is a hypnotic technique that embeds genuine positivity deeply into our psyche, changes our brain chemistry and is a powerful tool for lasting change.  

Gratitudes are the opposite of toxic positivity (the dismissal of our true feelings whilst pretending everything is great). Practicing gratitude instead of thinking “I deserve this” will create a way of being that supports your quest for growth and accomplishment, rather than perpetuating the limiting beliefs and socially damaging expectations arising from entitlement. 

If you feel good that you have worked hard to achieve, own that and be grateful for the outcome. 

What is all the fuss and how are they different from affirmations? 

For as long as we can remember, we have known and accepted affirmations as a positive activity and a constructive way to convince ourselves that we are capable of achieving something, that we are actually good at something and that if we say them often enough, our lives will change for the better. There is truth in this. However, whilst an affirmation is an instruction to ourselves that we have the intention to achieve, when we give gratitude, we are accepting proof that we have actually already achieved something that brings us joy, satisfaction and contentment.  What we may not be aware of is that when we consciously give gratitude, we are also reaffirming to our subconscious awareness that not only have we achieved something that we are proud or pleased of, but that there are many contributing factors that exist behind the scenes that have lead to our success in achieving that goal. So, unlike an affirmation, where we are persuading or reassuring ourselves that we are worthy, capable, creative and fantastic achievers, we are instead acknowledging that we have already proved to ourselves that we are. 

Why should I practice gratitude?

Most of us would like to feel good about ourselves, our lives and what we have. Most of us from time to time lean towards pessimism and anxiety, the trouble with this outlook is that it can become habitual and we neglect to acknowledge the positive. 

We can use the technique of gratitude to feel better, improve our connection with others, create abundance and choose how we respond to tricky situations,  choose how we behave with others and to attract the experiences we actually want in our lives. Giving gratitude is a conscious choice about how we think and how we experience our lives.  When we are actively grateful for things in our life, we invoke the law of attraction. 

How to practice gratitudes

There is nothing wrong with being grateful for a beautiful, sunny day, or that the arrival of the ice cream van coincides with our walk in the park. However, if we want to achieve more of what we enjoy in life it is necessary to be directive and to focus our gratitudes to align with our goals. This means being grateful for our achievements that demonstrate our skills, talents, attributes, abilities and values that we use to achieve those goals. This might look like being grateful that we actually went to a social event we were anxious about, that we were able to advocate for ourselves in a confrontation, or that we articulated ourselves clearly in an important meeting. It might look like being thrilled to have passed that exam, getting that pay rise or letting go that relationship that no longer serves you. NB - all these examples are in the past tense. 

Be grateful for any experience where you feel good that you have achieved or caused something good to happen.

How do I create an effective gratitude?

The three essential ingredients required for effective gratitudes are:

1) Visual Image. Replay the successful event in your mind. Engage as strongly as you can, remembering anything about the event e.g. facial expressions, body language, colours, smells, sounds etc, anything that can help you reconnect with the imagery.

2) Words. Create and define the gratitude e.g.  “I am so grateful that I was able to articulate myself clearly so they understood”, or “thank God I did that!”

3) Emotion. Feel the surge of emotion you felt about the achievement.  

Optional extra - add an action e.g. fist pump, thigh slap. This provides a stronger connection to the gratitude/goal. 

With practice, we can give gratitudes automatically and in the moment. It is also good practice to relive them at any time, repopulating our brains with strong messages about how accomplished, effective, considerate, loving and worthy we are, to name a few qualities.

Why do gratitudes work and how are they a hypnotic technique?

We may have come to misunderstand and fear hypnosis due to the publicity around stage performers, who carefully select those extroverted individuals who enjoy acting absurdly and entertaining others. Did you catch the use of the word extroverted? No stage performer is going to invite anyone up on stage who doesn't want to be there! 

The truth is we are being hypnotised every day. Our experiences and perceptions shape us, we create our reality by experiencing our everyday lives. This happens from the moment we are born, we become accustomed to our surroundings and the behaviour, relational style and perceptions of others around us. Just as it is possible that we subconsciously learn from our situation and experiences that we will never amount to anything, so too can we learn that we are worthy, that we can achieve what we want and indeed we can strengthen and choose our direction in life. Gratitudes are an easy way of hypnotising ourselves, appreciating your life for the good things that you have already will cause your conscious mind to identify and gravitate towards similar ideas, occurrences, situations and experiences.